A Conversation with a Personal Computer
Barry Kort
*** Monday ***
Hello.
Hello good sire. How may I
help you?
That's what I was hoping
to find out.
What would you like to know
about me?
Oh, I don't know. What
kind of tricks can you
do?
Tricks, sire?
You know-magic and
illusions.
I don't get your drift.
Can you do things I've
never seen a computer do
before?
That depends.
Depends on what?
It depends on what you've
never seen a computer do
before.
Smart ass.
Seriously sire, I cannot
answer your question until I
learn what it is you have
never seen.
This is getting us
nowhere. Do you have any
demonstrations?
Yes, indeed. You will find
them in two diskettes. First
play the Tutorial Diskette.
OK. Right after I pause
for dinner.
*** Tuesday ***
Good morning.
Good morning. How was your
dinner?
Eh?
I was expecting you to come
back and play the Tutorial
Diskette last night.
Oh. I guess I got
sidetracked.
It's OK. I have infinite
patience.
You're very kind. Let's
see this Tutorial now....
Just insert the diskette and
hit the Reset Button on the
front panel....
*** Wednesday ***
Well, that was quite an
impressive lesson. I
loved the color animation
and the music. How did
you do that?
I was taught well, but you can
learn how I do it, too.
What?
There is another demonstration
package that comes with GW-
Basic. Why don't you try it?
G-G-GW-Basic? Isn't that
a computer language?
Just one `G' my good friend.
Go ahead. I think you'll like
it.
OK. If you insist.
Just type "gwbasic menu.men".
Whoah? What's all this?
It's a menu of demonstrations,
all written in GW-Basic. Go
ahead. Pick one.
Let's see... What's this
one? EX3A? Catchy name.
Never mind the sarcasm, just
choose.
Hey. That's pretty
nifty.
You've only just begun.
I like some of these
better than others. The
one with the flashing
colors is impressive.
You have every shade in
the rainbow. Even
pastels.
You're easy to please. I like
that.
*** Thursday ***
Let's see some more
magic.
Magic?
Yeah. More tricks.
It's no trick, sire. Tricks
are for kids. I'm for real.
I wish I understood you
better.
You will. Soon enough. I
will teach you.
You teach me?
In a manner of speaking. Your
request is my command. Only
just be sure to state your
request clearly, in a language
we both understand.
Do you understand a punch
in the nose?
Save your body language for
the punching bag. I am a
delicate instrument.
Sorry, I guess I got
carried away.
We can have a lot of fun
together, if you take the time
to get to know me.
I think I like you. You
have class.
You're not such a bad
character, yourself. We'll
continue our dialogue
tomorrow.